Motaz Omarien
I have come to forget you,
I have come to meet you,
you have become for me an eternal absence,
you have become for me a melting longing,
you have become for me a madness without end.
Speech is braided upon speech out of love, and phrases are written for you between the lines; so I fall in love… and I search for forgetting in a passing love, and the love searches for my memories, for a forgetting that will never come.
Your name has become a mirror for a pure longing, and your image a shadow of a dissolving man. Until the love of the universe became scattered pearls between my hands.
When the rain comes with the wind, the wind carries the scent of distant lands.
The rain is here, but it is there too.
The rain knows no borders.
Lands embrace lands,
and drops melt into other drops,
upon windows beautiful and wondrous.
But I am alone, watching the sunset, watching the voices that fade away, and the cars that vanish between the asphalt and the rain.
Everyone has gone home, and I am here…
recording the passing of another day of my life,
recording the slipping away of my youth,
recording an end that hardly ends.
I remember her…
my former fiancée, and her turning away, and her departure into nothingness.
How many women have passed through my heart, and my heart has remained alone.
She was the creature closest to my soul,
and in the end… I pushed her away with these two hands.
I kept postponing loneliness, postponing estrangement, postponing the unknown future.
In the rain, writing is born.
To the sounds of thunder, beneath the shadows of the clouds, between the throbs of lightning, thoughts multiply and stretch out.
But are we at the end? Or are we beyond the end?
The voice of thunder fades…
so too fades the voice of youth within us,
and that childish enthusiasm fades — that we will do and do…
But is intention alone what keeps me from marriage?
Or is it the fear of fear… of fear?